Some photos of our day :)

I took the day off because 1) I didn't think I'd be up for a day of work after taking Cody to see Nickleback Tues night (great concert!) 2) it was our 12th anniversary

Hubs had to work so I spent the day with the kiddos instead of him but the day was gorgeous - sunny and warm so I ran out to my deck chair every time I got the chance so by midafternoon I was getting pretty pink :0)

During one of my solor sessions Jared comes running out to say "Mom! We need to bake a cake cuz I haven't had cake in 100 years!!!!" So, on one of the hottest days of the year we bake a cake. It turned out rather yummy too, it's my first double decker that didn't flop. I like to "whip it" (the mix) for 2 minutes and that makes the cake come out so moist and fluffy that it practically melts in your mouth. It was chocolate fudge and I used peanut butter for the writing. Hubs and I went out to a cozy local pub for a quiet dinner and then came home and had cake with the kiddos. The greatest day ever!

Ask me anything

I've had so much fun participating in this post on other blogs that I am going to try it myself. Is there anything you would like to know?

12 Years ago in Texas....

One man took one woman to be a lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish forever and ever. Scott and Kim were joined in holy matrimony and a single mom became a wife and mother of three.

There's been lots of good times and we've seen our share of hard times but through it all love has prevailed. He is my rock and I am his mystery - we are one and yet two very different. Sometimes I wonder how it works and other times I wonder how I could live without him. He keeps me grounded and I take him places he's never been or would ever dream of going. He's my best friend and everything in between.

I have the best husband in the whole world! Now I need help because I can't figure out what to get him...Help Please!

12th Wedding Anniversary = Silk
When most people think of silk, they probably think about it’s beauty, or the feel that only silk can produce when worn against the skin. But I doubt that many people think about what an incredibly strong material silk is, before nylon and other synthetic materials were developed, silk was used to make parachutes during WW2. During and after the war, parachutes were highly sought after by European women. One can only imagine how many wedding dresses, lingerie and other garments were made from the recycled silk parachutes.

So it’s easy to see why silk would be the symbol for the 12th wedding anniversary gift, because just like a twelve year marriage it can be soft, beautiful and incredibly strong, all at the same time.

Going to Gramma's

*Jaiden with her big sister Sarah (Sarah lives with her mom in Missouri but flew in to visit Gramma for the weekend)

Ok, we are back from our trip to Gramma's - it was fun to see family again and we celebrated our nieces birthday late Fri night.

Saturday the babes went to cusins house while the older broads + Cody went with Gramma shopping. It was fun, and Cody is a very tolerant young man - he was very good natured about following us around town to "old lady stores" as he put it (later) not within hearing of Gramma of course. We were searching for accesories for Grammas house to go with her new paint job in her living room. She found some really cute things to go with her Tuscany decor.

We finished up at Kohls (my favorite store) where I stored some major savings on back to school clothes for Jared and found some nice chair pads for the dining room table for only $6 ea! Oh and chocolate colored towels for Cody's bathroom that were normally $45 just $15 ea - they are sooooo soft!

Sat night Jared had a bit of tummy ache which kept us all up most of the night so we were more than ready to head home Sunday even though it meant saying an early farewell to Sarah. We never get to spend enough time with her. Jared threw up twice on the way home and then slept the whole day and well into the night so today I let him stay home with Cody and he slept most of the day away but is once more feeling himself again this afternoon.

Did we make it to the concert....? Yes! Yes, we did! it was so much fun! We liked Little Big Town a lot - they opened the show. Martina sang a lot of older songs and really jacked up my favorite (I have been blessed) by singing it into another song and the band kept playing the other song...it was annoying on the ears. boy she sure can belt it though! I was mega impressed how she could sing so long and put so much passion into it. Of course the concert ended with "Independence Day" we should have known...but it was fun anyway. She opened the concert with my current favorite "Anyway" there were many songs that I wish she had sang and many I wished she hadn't but hey - the concert was fun and it was free so I cannot complain. She is still a classic.

oh and to top it off - Saturday at Walmart I scored a copy of the Deathly Hollows for only $17.95 and much to my mother in laws horror (I've never read any of the other books) I read the last paragraph first! Cody has been a big fan since around 7 when the first book came out - and he went from not being able to read to speed reading these monster books almost overnight. I've never attempted to read one yet because I have this thing with reading books and then having to WAIT for the next one to come out. It drives me nuts. I have to know if I'm going to like the book first or if it is going to be a wast of my time, because if I actually take the time to sit and read a book and then it has a poor ending then I get really annoyed and usually takes me a long time to pick up another book. If I find a good read, I get consumed and have to finish it before I come back to "reality" so in order for me to start the Harry Potter series I needed to know if it was going to be worth it. I say much to my MIL's horror because she was so upset when I flipped right to the back of the book and started reading - she is an avid book lover and has never ever in all the years she's been reading looked ahead to the ending of a book.

Well, I won't give it away but I liked it enough to want to start the series from the beginning. Now I would like to hear from those that have read from beginning to end - what did you think?

Happy Girl

We have Martina McBride tickets!!! Yep, I know I may have mentioned somewhere the fact that we both hate the song "independence day" but love MM and just yesterday hubby brought home tickets! I guess we can always make a potty run when she breaks into that song. They were free tickets - given to the military and they are nose bleeder seats but hey, I'm stoked anyway. She is one of my favorite singers and we don't get out all that much so this will be fun! It's Sunday night at 7 - we are supposed to go out of town this weekend to visit family so hopefully we will be back in time for our date night with Martina.

Red sofas...

Ok, here they are, the red sofas with which I must match a color to my walls. They are a ruby red (or poppy?) not sure exactly but a very vibrant color none the less. I would like to warm up the room, it gets a lot of sunlight so it is bright and sunny and I would like it to be more welcoming. Please tell me what you think. oh, and the curtains came with the house - hubby hates them but they match better than anything I can figure out to go with them. Any ideas? think design on a dime :)

Girls of 117b

Mission accomplished! Jaidens photos are sent in and we can look forward to seeing our girls of 117b all together again real soon.

July 4-12

Feeling a bit blue...

You Need Some Yellow in Your Life

Yellow will make you feel happy, perky, and hyper. And with a little yellow, you will project an aura of energy. If you want attention, you've got to get a little yellow in your life! For extra punch: Combine yellow with blue or orange The downside of yellow: People associate it with sickness and deceit The consequences of more yellow in your life: You will have more mental clarity, especially when faced with difficult problems You will be protected from depression and moodiness You will be a lot less likely to burn out or feel stressed

What Color Do You Need?

I've been very moody lately - it's been an emotional roller coaster ride. Not sure what's going on with that but I've been meaning to paint the upstairs a different color. right now the kitchen is a muddy color (painted when we moved here) it's kinda an army green so it goes well with my colors - red sofas and tuscany dishes in the kitchen. I would like an old world European feel but not sure what color (or tequnique) to try, plus the area above the stair is a bit intimidating and will take scafolding to reach...so the color has to be "just right" if you know what I mean. there will be no room for error and it has to be a color that will make a good impression when we get ready to sell in 09' I would like it to feel warm, bright and welcoming but soft and comforting as well. The kitchen, dining and upstairs living room are all open to each other so the colors have to flow together. Please help me to decide on a good shade for this. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

TGIF

It's FRIDAY!!!!!

(and the fair is in town!) We checked it out on Wednesday but they were just settin it up so there wasn't much to see but it brought back memories of the fairs from childhood; the ferris wheel, the carousel, the tornado - what was your favorite? Mine is always the animals. I loved the bunnies this year, there was the cutest bunny with long soft angura (sp?) fur. And one that looked like a siemese cat...soft and silky!

Tag you're it!!! :)

if you are reading this post consider yourself "tagged" Now quick, grab a camera and go snap a photo of your fridge. This is the "what's on/in your fridge tag" I will post a photo tonight but I just thought of it and would like to see how many brave hearted bloggers I know :) My fridge is a mess so maybe you will get both - do you really want to know what lurks inside??? I do! let's chill together! Post on your blog (or here) and let me know so I can check it out. Happy Chillin'

I was going to post the clip "Happy Birthday Mr President" sung by the late Marylyn Monroe but after watching it on YouTube - gag me with a spoon! I'm not going to drop this site to that kind of low. Ugh! Sorry all you MM fans out there - so not impressed.

I wanted to say Happy Birthday to President George W. Bush (my all American hero) we share a birthday today :) May all your wishes come true!

Happy Birthday America!!!

We celebrated today the traditional American way. Dressed in hues of red, white and blue we went downtown and walked in a parade and then had lemonaid, popcorn and a caramel apple. I painted the kids faces with flags, fireworks and a ladybug for Jaiden. It was a GORGEOUS day, bright sunshine and a beautiful blue sky and as we were standing on the pavement waiting for the parade to begin it was a bit hot - the kids were roasting (me I was in HEAVEN) Downtown was pretty crowded and there was a line for just about everything, including food so we let Jared jump in the bouncy castle for a while, looked over a few of the antique cars (loved that the 71 corvette was right beside the 66 mustang fastback - mine and Scott's favorite cars and birthyears, well almost...Scott is 67) We discovered today that we do share one thing in common - we love Martina McBride (she will be here in concert this month) but we do NOT like the song Independence Day...not sure why but that came out in conversation today as we were discussing concerts and why I would rather go to a Nickelback rather than McBride concert...much to the amazement of my teen son whom thinks I am soooo old and not cool most of the time.

I am trying to make another video - some of us playing around in the yard yesterday and of the parade today. There is one of Jaiden in her room - please excuse the mess - it's almost a "where's Jaiden?" as she is camoflauged in toys. Can you find her? Hope you all had a special day with loved ones and friends. I will sit here, with my milk and Kaluha and reminisck as I catch up on what ya'll have been up to...

Catching Up

It's been a week since I've been able to get much time on the computer so I am behind on a lot. When you work away from home, things just have a way of piling up - laundry, dishes, housework...its all still there and must be done in addition to spending quality time with the kiddos...which always comes first in my book.

Jaiden has been having a tough time with me working. She is doing fine at daycare but comes home and has a meltdown from the moment I put her into the car seat until we get her to sleep each night. I'm not sure what is going on with her but I'm sure she's expressing her anger at my being away all day. She is whiney and tired alot and doesn't sleep well but I'm hoping that this will improve when we get into a routine.
Jared will start going to daycare next week and he is very excited about that. Cody went to stay with cousins for the week and after that is considering seeking summer employment. He needs something to do other than playing video games and chatting online...

We had a garage sale yesterday - it was in the 90s and sunny (which I was enjoying) but the garage was in the sun so it was baking! Not many people were out and there wasn't even a dent made in the amount of stuff we have to get rid of. Guess that is why we usually donate but I thought I'd give it a go since we have lots of very gently and barely used baby items and they are stinkin pricey brand new.

We are thinking of re-landscaping our yard so today we are making a trip to the local Menard's to get bricks. Hubby wants something low profile that he can mow around and not have to edge with the weed eater...I get more yardage for my gardening :) so we are all happy!

The "strawbebbies" are certainly June bearing - they are keeping me hoppin! I need to go pick em' now - a thunderstorm ran me back inside this morning when I went out to check them but it has cleared up now. I am going to attempt to make some freezer jam (MIL recipe) so far I have saved up and frozen two half full gallon sized bags. That's cleaned and capped. Another project I am considering is putting the strawbebbies along the fence and giving up the playhouse location to hubby for building a larger storage facility for his man tools... and them out of our garage. When is the best time for moving them? Fall or spring?

*I am starting to wonder - is Jaiden bipolar? She swings moods so quickly and often that I can not keep up. It makes things very complicated to say the least when she goes from flopping down on the floor screaming to a full throttle belly laugh within seconds. Is there a such thing as baby psychiatrist? She understands our language a lot better than we understand hers and I desperately want to reach her and understand what she is feeling. I'm completely perplexed. Yes, I know I am a moody person myself but even I don't bounce around this much and frankly I am worried. I want her to be happy all the time - is that wrong?

Our week

It has been a very exciting week for us. On Saturday our driveway was finally completed - we now have concrete all the way to the road thanks to Scott and his brother Robb. They did an awesome job and saved us thousands by doing it themselves. We celebrated the achievement with dinner at the Texas roadhouse.

Monday I went to work at my new job and Jaiden went to her first day of daycare. It went much better than I had expected and there were no tears. Jaiden waved bye bye and sent me on my way. I was nervous to start another new job in another new town but it turned out to be a pleasant experience. The folks I work with are great and they made me feel very welcome. I think it will be a great place to work, yet I do miss that feeling of being with family that I had at my last job. I know that will come in time as I get to know everyone but I miss the familiarness of before. Getting to know a new job in a new town is never easy.

Summer finally arrived on Sunday - if only for a moment. We blew up the kiddy pool and let the kids enjoy the water. I had to bring bucket after bucket of boiling water to dump in because the city water is ICE cold! Jaiden was starting to turn blue so I had to take her out within just a few minutes even though the temps was 80 degrees. Mon and Tues were near 90s and then on Tues the rain came and it's been raining the rest of the week. Everyone keeps talking about how bad the mosquitoes are here and I am starting to get very afraid....

The strawberries have begun to ripen this week and we have gathered them every day. yesterday Jaiden was following me around stealing them from the bucket as I picked - just like my brother used to do when we were kids. The kids have really enjoyed the fresh berries from the garden and they certainly are a nice surprise each day to find new ones ready to be picked. I hope eventually to have enough to make up a batch of homeade jam...but with the way Jaiden eats them I may be waiting a while ;)

The saga continues...

This morning at 0600 Jaiden took her blankie and lay down in the hallway and fell asleep. At 9 I put her in her bed to nap and at 0955 I heard one of her toys so I go to check on her - she is sitting at the door playing! I put her back into bed and get her tucked in with her blankie, give kisses (she blows kisses when she goes night night) and slip out quietly. Well she pitches a fit and a few minutes later stops crying but I hear a soft thump, thump so I go to check on her and she is sitting up in her bed bumping her head against the wall. I lay her back down and repeat the tuck in procedure but she starts screaming again. This time she falls asleep within a few minutes and is now sleeping peacefully. She has been on an uninterupted schedule for a while now so I don't understand why she is suddenly fighting naps...is this because she doesn't need a morning nap anymore? She gets grump and rubs her eyes when she hasn't had a nap so I know she is sleepy. Could she be overtired?

Test video

Just trying to see if the video works

So much love!

I feel so loved after reading your comments on the last post! How sweet!

It's been a busy week with family trips and visits. My mom came to Grand Forks all the way from Mena Arkansas the day after we returned from a visit to my hubby's family so it's been a long time since I've had much computer time and when I am on it I've been obsessing over building a new neighborhood on my Sims2 game. With my life being so out of control I needed a "happy place" to go to (details on another blog - this one is for cutie pie) My simulated little world takes my mind off the endless cold here. I am a summer girl and the lack of is driving me bonkers in spite of my life being showered with blessings.

Ok, enough of that - I'll catch up with all the details eventually on my other blog. I created this blog for Jaiden and its dedicated to watching her grow...which she has been doing by leaps and bounds! She is a Daddy's girl, when he comes home she squeals "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" at the top of her lungs and then runs around saying "Daaad, Daaaaaa, and Daddddda" it's soooo cute! While my mom was here, she said "Mammaw" plain as day too. My mom made her some adorable little summer dresses (will try to post some photos of that soon too) it rained most of the week but in between rains we got to get out and plant new flowers. My stepdad and I planted a red peony which I am dedicating to Jaiden. It looks like it is about to bloom - I so hope it doesn't drop the buds from the shock of transplanting. I bought 3 other peonies which I wound up giving to my mother in law because we just didn't have enough room to cart back with us last weekend. It was pretty packed in the SUV with 3 kids, 2 adults and a puppy plus all the goodies I had found while shopping with my SIL and niece. (I was taking advantage of the no sales tax on clothes) since I will be going back to work soon...also another story for the other blog. There will be many tears. I have an interview with a daycare center tommorrow. This will be Jaiden's first time in that kind of place (Gasp) it breaks my heart to even consider it but...that's another long story I'm afraid no one would like to hear.

So can I ask you something my bloggie buddies??? What do you do when a small child has temper tantrums? I've never had to deal with this with my boys - they are very mild tempered. The only times they ever cried as babies was when they were wet or hungry...when this was taken care of they were content and sometimes they were content even when they were wet. With Jaiden I have been initiated into motherhood 101 without a clue to what the world of tantrums was all about. I am afraid that she is going to hurt herself somehow with the fits that she throws. She will be in the midst of a tantrum and I can get her to laugh out loud and then she resumes her blood curtling screaming and thrashing fits. What's a mommy to do? She pulls her hair, scratches herself and kicks and flops around something terrible during these instances. I try to calm her down but she doesn't want to be held or even touched and while leaving her alone to let it pass sometimes works, she usually can scream for a long time - or she can just shut it off like a switch. I'm confused at what to do and how to teach her to express herself without anger. Am I wrong? Is this just part of her that we need to let her express? We are trying to wean her from the night night bottle and this has triggered the latest of the trauma. She doesn't want a sippy cup in its place but I suppose if she did we would have to wean her from that too. I know this is a deep subject but I'd really appreciate any advice on this matter. She is about to go to bed now and I gave her a bottle of water to compromise. We took away her binkie (pacifier) a month or so ago and she had no problems with that but seems to be more attached to the bottle. What do your children sleep with? She has her blankie too - should we just take the bottle away cold turkey? I am such a softie and her tears just breaks my heart even though she can stop them on a dime and start laughing in the midst of a full blown fit. What should I do???

Lots of cuteness here

I've been away so long I almost forgot my login name...sorry about that! We've had family visiting and been very busy this past couple of weeks.

download is pretty slow and I can't figure out how to get it posted directly to the blog but if you go to this link you will see the cutest video of Jaiden ever

Friday Photos

Belated Wishes

I have forgotten something. Something sacred. I am ashamed. I must repent that I have gotten off focus lately and things (me) have not been quite as normal as usual. I am normally very thoughtful and kind. I've been slacking. I normally love to write. That too has lost interest for me. I know I have issues and I'm going to get seen by a professional soon (June 11th) but until then I am trying to muddle through.

My life is so full of blessings that I cannot fathom why I am not bursting with joy every minute of my day. I dug back through some of my past posts and came across this mothers day wish from last year. http://kleinsingermany.blogspot.com/2006/05/tribute-to-special-mother.html

I need to dig deep and come up with something appropriate. This child is more than I could have ever dreamed of. Her beauty comes from within and outshines the sun. Mother's Day is a special day to reflect on all the special women in our lives. Without them where would we be?

This comes on the heels of an argument with my mom on the phone just this morning. She wants me to visit her and is trying to get me to let the kids come stay with her this summer but with gas prices the way they are, it is just too costly to drive that far twice in one summer. My brother is getting married on July 4th and I would like to attend (he lives in the same town). I don't want the kids to stay with her for a month, they are still getting settled here and have not made friends yet - going away is not going to help that. I am being selfish in that I would like my mom to come visit me. She is retired but has a farm, garden etc that takes up all her time. I feel like sometimes I am on the bottom of her priority list.

I hope I do not ever make my children feel second place to any "thing" that may be a part of my life. I love them with all my heart and they are the air that I breathe. I cannot imagine my life without them. Bearing the title of Mommy is the greatest gift life has given to me. I wish that every mother's heart could overflow with the joy of life that children bring.

My wish this year is that every mother that has ever longed for a child will be filled with joy and laughter, a life abundant and overflowing, hope eternal and love everlasting. If your arms are empty, may there be peace in your heart that provides you with fullfillment, knowing that at just the right moment your arms will overflow and your life will be blessed.

For Jaiden's biological mother,

I will never know her address, to send her photos or cards, but somewhere in the small village of Tonggu, deep in the heart of China there is a mother with empty arms. She placed her daughter at the orphanage gate on a cold December day and somehow managed to walk away. I know her heart must have shattered into pieces and I cry to think of the anguish she went through. I wish her to know somehow in her heart the joy that her life has brought to me. She has given such a precious piece of herself to me and I will always treasure her. I wish I had a name to call her, a face to visualize when I pray for her. That's all I know to give in return for what she has given me. Beloved one. May each task be made lighter, each dawn a little brighter and each day a new reminder that she has given the most precious of gift a life. A chance to grow and become all that she was meant to be. This most precious child will always know love, always know comfort and always be a joy to behold. We will watch her grow and know that she is a part of someone we may never meet but will always treasure. May God bless her beyond measure and give her peace and wisdom that her child is growing in His Grace.

Sugar and Spice

Sugar and spice
and everything nice
that's what little girls are made of

Sunshine and rainbows
and ribbons for hair bows
that's what little girls are made of

Tea parties, laces
and baby doll faces
that's what little girls are made of


*Jaiden is deciding which she likes better, the cake mix or the spagetti - she chose both!

Happy Mothers Day!

I am a day late on posting this but yesterday was such a BEAUTIFUL day that it was spent mostly outdoors and I didn't touch the computer all weekend.

First thing, Jared tried out his new kite that he got for his birthday. He looked like a pro in just 5 minutes - I was VERY impressed! Jaiden "helped" me to weed the tulips - big brother took the photo (hair all in the face) The kids and daddy took me to CULVERS for lunch :) and I had a cheeseburger and FROZEN CUSTARD (it is sooooo good!) stopped by a greenhouse and picked out some new flowers for my garden, came home, put the babes down for naps and dad and I went back out - found some pots for my new flowers, came home and got them all settled in. Lovely day!

Thank You

Just wanted to say hi to all my blog buds out there. Thank YOU for all the sweet comments this past week. I really needed the "cyber support" and each one of you holds a special place in my heart. I love hearing from you all and love to read your real life moments too. Life can't always be sunshine and roses and it's the rain that makes us so much stronger and more beautiful on the inside where it counts.

If it takes a lifetime

Child of my heart,
Before I knew you,
someone held your hand
Before I knew you,
someone made you smile
Before I knew you,
someone gave you love
Before I knew you,
someone answered your call
Before I knew you,
someone taught you songs
Before I knew you,
someone taught you dance
Before I knew you,
someone comforted your cries

nine months before I knew you
someone gave you life
someone carried you
someone nurtured you
someone worried for you
someone nourished you
someone dreamed of you
someone gave you a chance

I know this someone is very special to you. I don't ever want to take this person away from your heart. This person is responsible for you being here today and I will always be grateful. I will try to remember this when I see your anger and I feel your pain. I will try to hold this love in my heart that I feel for you every moment until you are ready for it to be yours. I hope that when you need me the most I can be patient, and kind. I hope to be the mother that you deserve. I know it seems we've taken you from this life that was just right. You had it all - a mom, a dad, a sister and maybe even a brother. You have come into our lives and adapted to our strange ways very quickly. You've learned to eat our strange foods, to sleep in our strange beds, to speak our strange language, to smell our strange smells. You have mastered them and made each your own. You are a very strong and brave little girl with a sweet disposition and a loving heart. You make the world around you a happier place to be.

So many changes have come your way in such a short time of just 7 months.

Your birth mother carried you for 9

Your foster mother nurtured you for 9

It is an honor for me to love you and give everything I have to give. I have dreamed of you my entire life and now that you are real, I am overwhelmed. I'm sorry if I get frustrated at times when it seems that we don't see things eye to eye. I know you are missing those things that brought you comfort, although I don't know what they are. I wish I knew what you think at those moments when you are so frustrated and can't tell me your needs. Looking into your soft face while you dream, I can only imagine what your thoughts must be. When you search my eyes upon waking and cry for me to hold you I wonder who you are really looking to find. Will it ever be me that you look for? I can/will/do promise to love you forever and give you all the time you need to adapt to me being your new Mom. I know it will take some time. All my life is yours now and you can trust in me to never go away.

Love You Baby!

Yours Forever,
Mommy

Where's momma?

This post is sad and it really breaks my heart to send this out because so many of you will decide that I am not worthy of this beautiful child but I need to release this somehow.

Jaiden has been able to say "momma" for as long as we have known her (7 months now) she said it when we first met her but seemed to catch herself and stopped. Well today I decided to play a game of "where's momma?" with her just to see what she would do. I said to her "Where's momma?" tapped on my chest and said "momma?" "where's momma?" she looked at me quizzily and did the "i don't know" gesture, with hands uplifted in the air. I said "did momma go bye-bye?" and she walked away looking for her. It just broke me into pieces to watch her walk away. Now she is walking around the house and looking out the window saying "momma".

When I try to get her to come to me she gets angry and throws a fit. I don't know how to get through this right now. I know it will take a long time for us to bond but it has been months and I am nothing to her but a caregiver. she likes me ok when I am giving her what she wants but that quickly changes when I come too close or do something she doesn't like. I wish I knew what she was thinking and feeling right now. Is she unhappy here? does she wish she were still with her foster mom? I know I do things a lot differently and she was very well cared for in her foster home. I wonder if the unconditional love will ever come to be a part of her emotions but right now it doesn't seem like it and I feel like such a failure as a mom. Sure I can make her laugh and smile, she will let anyone do that, but when will she really want me? to hold her and rock her, to cuddle away her tears, to soothe her when she is tired and grumpy, to make her feel safe and secure. How do you know when your adoptive child has bonded? Is there a sign? A look? A word? When she hugs me it is with open arms and hands; she rather lays into my arms. When she kisses - she gives me her forehead or cheek. When I try to hold her - she pushes away if I'm not taking her to her chosen destination. Why doesn't she love me? She is such a sweet child and she likes everyone; but her affection is not bias. I guess that is what adoption is all about; loving someone so completely even when they turn away. This is how God loves us even when we turn away and want nothing to do with his love. And when we turn to this love, we find it has been there all along. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to discover the obvious.

This weeks photos

Can I please have some chocolate with that?

Today has been a very whiney day. It is cold and rainy out so we are all cooped up for the next 3 days alone. Dad took Cody to the Twins/Redsocks game and we are...just hangin.

It's been a kinda rough day. Today Jaiden discovered the toilet paper sometime during the 3 minutes that I must have been making a lunch or taking the puppy pee. She managed to pull nearly the entire roll off and string it around the bathroom and stuff most down the toilet. She was just caught fishing in the toilet last night so I thought she would not be returning to the scene of that crime anytime soon...wrong! The girl has guts - I know she is a smart one and remembers EVERYTHING but she doesn't seem to get that no-no means no and if I've said it a dozen times then its not going to suddenly change if she tries it 13 times. Guess that is just part of being a child but she is a lot more persistant with pushing the same buttons so we tend to have our moments. A large part of her orneryness is teething pain so I try to be patient with her at these times when nothing is making her happy...but when we are both crabby it makes for a really touchy day.

I think we could both use a double decker fudge sundae topped with ooey gooey marshmallow sauce and hunks of chocolate!

When the south wind blows...

it stirs up the sassy. yesterday the wind was blowing from the north, today from the south. the wind is ALWAYS blowing here - my hubby just told me a JOKE OMG soooo funny - hope I don't get my blog deleted if I share it here. I'll try to change the wording a bit...nope can't do it - I chickened out. But if you'd like to hear it let me know and I'll post it somehow.

anyway, today was a nice day out sunny and warm but gosh was the wind ever chilly and yesterday wasn't too bad but the south wind blows cold??? that's weird huh. I think I am windburned. My face feels like I've been through a sandstorm.

anywho, I wanted to post videos of my two sassy girls. See they are cute even when they are sassy :)


Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos


Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos


Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos

We had just returned from dropping the boys off at school and it was naptime. See what she does when I say "nap nap" but she wasn't interested at all in sleeping once she lay down. Full of sassy today :)

Do you understand Goble-e-Gook???

Jaiden was in a very talkative mood yesterday. She talked in the car on the way to school, she talked at the bank to the tellers, she talked as she eagerly watched the guy changing our oil at Jiffylube, she talked at lunch with daddy and when he introduced us all around his office, she continued to jibber jabber all through the thrift store and had all the ladies smiling at her trying to figure out what she was saying, she kept jabbering all throughout the commissary as we were getting food, it started getting more like annoyed wails when I wouldn't give up the grapes though...and then she fell sound asleep in the car on the way home.

Once home and the groceries were unpacked...she woke up so we went outside to play. It was a very windy day and a bit chilly. Check out the videos and let me know what you think she is saying :) At times it sounded a bit like chickerish (like on Chicken Little) so daddy and I decided that her new nickname will be "Chickawa"


Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos


This is what she says when she's Hungry


Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos

Photo Challenge

For the month of May 3 Dumplings is having a challenge for anyone interested in participating. I've volunteered Jared as my subject of choice for the month of photos since this is his birthday month. He turns 6 on May 9th. Go over to my other blog and check it out! :)

*Jared made a wrench out of his toast - he's got the "tools" in his genes!

Friday Photos

Rotten Milk

How do rid the smell of rotten milk from your auto? It appears daddy found one of Jaiden's bottles in the backseat yesterday...a time bomb just waiting to explode. And boy did it ever! It smells like we hid a body in the trunk...except it's an SUV and we don't have a trunk. Daddy removed the bottle and all remnants of any spilled milk, and I vaccuumed the carpet, sprayed resolve and febreeze until the carpet is soaked and now have all the windows open with it sitting in the sun trying to air out. Please wish us luck on removing the odor or we may have to seek professionals to come in and fumigate.

Nap Nap Time

This is so cute I just had to blog it before I forget...

Our morning routine is this:

0730 we take the boys to school

0800 Play time

0900 Nap Nap time/Blog time for Mommy :) - well this morning I was on the phone with my Mom and at 0850 as Jaiden was playing with a plastic Easter egg she suddenly squealed and flopped herself down on the floor in a mini fit. My mom said "What happened?" I said "oh something didn't work right with her egg" *the mommy alert that a nap is in the near future...so I go to get her bottle ready and before I get it poured she's alread found her blankie, has her binkie and leads me to her room; where she climbed up into her bed by herself! (She has a toddler bed now that we moved into our new house and converted her crib into Jared's bed since it was originally his crib) This is the first time she has initiated nap nap - she's always been a good napper and doesn't ever complain when it's time but she has never actually gotten into bed on her own. My baby girl is growing up!

Tommorrow she will be 16 months. I can't believe how fast time has gone by! Last night she had a tough time sleeping because she's got two (or four?) new teeth coming through - back molars and they are giving her lots of pain. I've been trying ice, lot's of baby ambasol, teething tablets, rubbing her gums etc...but last night nothing was comforting except laying against my shoulder and having her back rubbed.

This is another first since she hardly ever wants to be held at night and will scream bloody murder if I try to rock or cradle her in my arms. It was a very special time and I think at moments like these that she may be actually warming up to me...something I've wondered still since she usually pushes me away (when I try to hug her) and still hasn't said "Mommy". I know when she does it will be a special gift and I know she has a lot to work out in her mind that she is still adjusting to our new life together. She doesn't like me to be out of her sight and gets very jealous when her big brother Jared climbs into my lap or hugs me so I know there is some sort of territorial feelings there...which hopefully will grow into unconditional love and she will want and need me just as much as I've always wanted and needed her.

How she gets clean...

Jaiden LOVES to take a bath! This is how much she loves bubbles. She dunks her whole head face first into the bubbles and takes a big bite!

This week in photos

Adoption Day

7 Month Gotcha Anniversary

It's so hard to believe that it's been only 7 months since Jaiden was placed into our arms. The wait was endless and we didn't think it was ever going to be our turn and then almost overnight our lives were changed forever. I'll never forget the moment we first looked into those deep chocolate eyes and felt her warmth. The smell of her was pungent and very wholesome - kinda like a field of wheat after a rain. She never cried and she fit into our lives like she's always been here. Our little miracle of life that amazes us every day with her smile and her deep gutteral laugh. We aren't always sure of how to handle the temper streak that runs so deep and we can't quite figure out how she can go from screaming like a banshee to laughing hysterically in the same moment. But each moment is a treasure and she is our shining jewel. More precious than all the jewels on Earth. Happy 7 months Group 117B!!!

Introducing... Chloe Elizabeth!

5 min at the docs office...

is just sheer exhaustion...now I remember why I avoid that place as much as possible but today I had to take Jared in for the gosh awful erruptions on his face. He developed a crusty yucky eye infection during our road trip across America last week (Minnesota to Louisiana and back in one week) we had Scott's Dads funeral and then a family reunion to attend so the kids were exposed to hundreds of gazillions of strange things so no telling where the infection came from. We thought it was pink eye but his eye started getting better, then he developed a nasty red blot on his undernose area which since he had a slight running nose thought was due to that but then it started crusting up - yucky yellow crust. Then he developed little pimples around his cheeks and then they started getting crusty too so I broke down and took him to the doctor today...

Not only is it in the teens here but the wind is blowing like crazy so getting two kids into a SUV and to the doc is one thing but once we got there Jaiden wanted nothing to do with sitting in the reception area or getting her hair done for the umpteenth time this morning so she wiggled and squirmed until I let her down and she headed off to the nearest lady she could find...an elderly woman who just couldn't wait to get ahold of her and what was I supposed to say "uh no lady you are in a clinic - how do I know - you might be contagious or something" she was a sweet lady and we were on a military base so the lady held her for about 2 seconds...then they called our name to go and I snatched her up and ran out of the room quickly. Then when we got to the room and got Jared settled into the chair, she wanted to go to the med tech girl who was checking him in...so there she was typing all his info in with one hand will Jaiden sat like a little angel on her lap. Then the doctor walks in...and Jaiden couldn't wait to go to her either. It's starting to feel a bit like the new has worn off the Mamma and Jaiden is ready for a replacement. She is such a happy girl and never meets a stranger. I worry sometimes that she may not be bonding well with me but then she will lay her her against me and make kissy noises that sure melt my heart.

Anyway...turns out that Jared has infantigo so I will have to give him antibiotics 4x a day and rub antibiotic cream on the lesions. He's a trooper and has not complained or itched them at all. He told the doctor "I looked in the mirror and saw my face and said *Big Eyes and open mouth* Uuuuuuh (deep indrawn breath)" the doctor was very impressed with his explanation and the drama he used to point out the effect it had on him

New photos of Jaiden

6 months and 7 days

That is how long Jaiden has been a part of our lives and yet it seems like she's been here forever. She is the sunshine of our days and brings so much life into our dull routines.

The past 3 months have been just absolutely crazy. We arrived in Grand Forks on 11 Jan and have been locked tight ever since - no internet, no home, not much of anything but snow and more snow. The temps and the wind kept us inside yearning to be outside. Jaiden took her first steps in TLF (temporary living facility) and has grown so much in dialogue since leaving Germany. I would love to share some of her babbling but I swear she's speaking Chinese. She's gotten a pattern down now though - babble, babble, babble SCREAM babble, babble, babble SCREAM it's the funniest thing (the screams are a bit like a squeal but if it's possible to have a happy scream that would be what she's doing) She's certainly found her voice and seems to like it :)

I will try to post photos to update you. Jaiden was baptized this Sunday - in the room with her Granpa Klein who is about to go home soon. He has lung cancer and he's ready to go. It was an emotionally spent weekend to see him off and spend time with relatives we haven't seen in years. Jaiden just loved all the attention - except for Jared and cousin Casey who are both 5. She seems to have developed an allergic reaction to 5 year old boys. Everytime they would come close or touch her she squeals at them.

We now have a new house (closed on it last Monday) and have painted some of the rooms. Jaidens is now lime sherbert green - it looked more sage on the paint chip but the color is light and refreshing and stepping into her room will be like stepping into a spring day...which may not come here for a while. The temps dipped down to 7 degrees yesterday! Brrrr....the cold and the wind never let up here.

Jaiden's First Steps

I don't know if I can get a video going or not just yet (we still don't have interenet yet) but just wanted to share that Jaiden is taking her first steps!!! She gets stronger and braver every day! Won't be long until she is running all over the place :)

Ok, I can't seem to be able to load photos right now and I have been in the library for about 3 hours so I need to get back to the kiddos. Thanks for visiting!

Birthday Slide Show

Busy Weekend

Jaiden's passport arrived just in time Friday morning for them to get to the airport and make their flight home. I picked them up at 6:30 Sat morning and we have been in a non stop whirlwind ever since.

Jaiden got a little upset tummy on the plane right before landing, so Daddy had a mess to clean up on the plane in the dark - just glad there wasn't anyone sitting next to him. Jaiden had her own seat going and coming home!

In addition to being smelly, she was in a bit of a trance when they rolled out. She had little tremors like she was cold and I think she was in a bit of shock to finally be home. After we got her home and fed, bathed and a little nap she was back to her usual perkiness.

The sun was trying to shine when we got home so Cody was finally able to mow the grass and then we had our followup homestudy visit (2 hours of more questions and paperwork)
then a run to the commissary to pick up a cake since I wasn't sure if Jaiden would be coming home or not so I didn't actually order a cake...we found a really cute one already made! Then we had to get the house clean and straightened...so by the time we finally went to bed we were all pretty exhausted.

Jaiden woke about ever hour through the night but she slept pretty well and woke around 8. It wasn't the greatest night of sleep but she seems to be slipping back into her routine very nicely and not too cranky when she stays up all day.

Sunday
Jaiden's Birthday Party! It was a fun day. Jaiden ate a banana and some scrambled egg and then took a nice nap. Woke had lunch...took another nap and then it was party time! She was a very good girl and never once got cranky. We had the Slater family, the Markowski family and the Sanders family join us for cake and ice cream to celebrate her special day. The house got a bit busy at times but it did seem to faze her one bit. She really enjoyed all the children and all the extra attention.

Getting the toys out of their boxes kept me pretty much "tied down" for the rest of the evening! I've never seen so much wiring!!! There's no fear of those toys ever falling out of their boxes if they suddenly get the wild urge to run...

Jared's quote of the day "I'm so glad I have a baby sister" :) aaaawwww isn't that sweet! He also likes that she comes equipped with some cool new toys - he enjoys playing with them almost as much as she does! I have to constantly remind him whose toy it is when she wants to play too. They are some pretty cool toys once you get them out of the box...

Hope everyone had a great weekend! Thank you all for praying for our family and Praise the Lord that they were answered!

Much Love,
Kim

Sigh of relief...

The passport is in the mail - Seattle sent it out on Wednesday hopefully it will arrive on Thursday (today) so they can fly out tomorrow (Friday) Being in a time zone warp is crazy when you are trying to get very important things done. I am 7 hours difference from Jaiden and Seattle is 2 hours difference from them...I just can't wait till she's back in my arms. I've got lots and lots of kisses and cuddles stored up with her name on em'!

You gotta be kidding me!!!

Last night Scott tells me that he contacted the passport office to check on Jaiden's passport - it was supposed to have been ready on Monday but he was in Grand Forks...well it seems that whoever took the application didn't know the process much and neglected to inform us of one very MAJOR detail - they will not process a passport for her until they get a notarized letter from me! WHAT?!!! You tell us this NOW - just two days before they are supposed to come home!! If Jaiden doesn't have a passport by Friday, Daddy has to come back to Germany without her! We may miss her First Birthday and Christmas!!! This cannot be happening!!!

I faxed them a notarized letter this morning - I hope they can get it together and fix this - I will be one very angry Momma if they won't let my baby come home! Grrrr! I'm about ready to fly over on my broom and get her right now. It was one hellova day yesterday and this news came just before I gave up and went to bed...praying that the day was just a really bad dream that I would wake from and everything would be better.

Today, we are still waiting to see what tommorow brings...and praying for a miracle to come and bring our baby her passport so she can come home. I miss her so much!!!

You complete me

Jaiden has been gone a week now - and it's just miserable here without her! I didn't know I'd miss her so much but the house is too quiet and I am having baby withdrawals...I hope next week goes by quickly! They'll be home on Saturday!!!

Little Miss America

Jaiden flew out today to become an American citizen! She is on her way to Minnesota with her Daddy heading right into what has become the first big snow storm of the year and shutting down airports from Dallas to Chicago. They are scheduled to arrive in Chicago on time (although their flight out this morning was delayed due to the plane being delayed coming from Chicago) but their flight to MN has been cancelled so looks like they will be spending the night. Jaiden's first night as an American will be spent in a snow lock. Good thing we packed her snow suit! Looks like she's gonna need it.