Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Three steps forward...Four steps back
Somedays I wonder if Jaiden wants to go back to her old life. Yesterday was one of those days. She wouldn't look at me and I could tell she didn't feel good but when I tried to hold her and comfort her she just pushed me away and the more I held her the madder she got. Somedays I wonder if she will ever really accept me as her mother. I know it is not something to be taken for granted - when it happens she will love me unconditionally but right now I don't think she can stand the sight of me. She loves to be held but she doesn't want to look at me - maybe she is not ready to accept me yet, not really sure. It doesn't help that I leave her every day and go to work but we can't afford for me to stay home. I try to snuggle with her and play games with her to interact and stimulate eye to eye contact and she is for the most part adjusting very well - it's just moments like yesterday that make me wonder just how tightly she is clinging to her old self...and when will she let go and really love us as much as we love her.
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2 comments:
Sorry it was a hard day.:( Give her time,and yourself time too, those days will come less and less. Hang in there, and just keep doing the eye contact and attachment stuff, but you know all that. Point is hang in there and before you know it, she'll know she's got the best Mom possible. Hugs!
Oh Kim, I'm so sorry. Her rejection must be so painful. I really worry about my bonding with Miya as well. I sure hope tomorrow is a "feel" closer day
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