I've been thinking it over...maybe it's time to start the paperchase for a brother or sister. Hubs and I have discussed this endlessly, he has known my heart is set on adopting as many children as we possibly can in this lifetime, he is the ever practical one and wants to make sure we are financially sound whatever that means....I can't see putting money before my babies. I still feel in my heart that I have more children, I just haven't met them yet. I know I could easily be a Mommy to a dozen...or more. Convincing the rest of my family of this is the hard part. I've really felt the urge to do something towards making this dream a reality lately. I'd thought that when we got our referral for Jaiden that I would want to get the paperwork going almost right away but as soon as I saw her beautiful face I felt content to wait for the moment. It's been over a year now that she's been home with us, and still I haven't been truly "moved" to do anything yet. Something just seemed to be telling me "it's not time yet"
I know that I do not really want another baby. Jaiden was actually much younger than we had expected and going through the baby stages has been priceless and I wouldn't give them up for the world, but then again if I had to choose I think I could just as easily love an older child. I know there are many, many children without a family and this just tears me apart. I know I could be the Mommy they dream of, no I am not perfect by a long shot, but my heart is full of love to give to them. I love to watch Jaiden and Jared playing together (more often than not arguing over a toy) on occasion they get along beautifully, like yesterday. We were all home sick. It was a RUFF night I tell ya! J bear has a sore throat, possible tonsil inflamation, and Jaiden has a nasty cough that keeps us all up at night. I woke with a stomach bug that had me dizzy, nauseaus, with a heachache so taking care of my sick babies and getting Teen to school was quite the challenge. All I wanted to do was sleep. So we got home and I crashed on the couch while the kiddos played hot wheel together. They actually played nicely together for hours on end yesterday and let me rest. That does a mommy's heart good in more ways than one. Sometimes Jared gets so lonely and he has not met any friends here yet so I wonder if adopting a younger brother for him would help him. He sits inside and is quickly becoming a couch potato...something I thought would never happen because he is such an active boy. He watches tv way too much in my opinion but I can't send him out alone to play or ride his bike. The street is way too busy and he doesn't like to go to the park alone. It will soon be winter here and he won't be able to get out much. I love to spend time with him and we play games and put puzzles together, but I know he feels all alone. He needs to do "boy things"
anyway, that is my random thoughts for the day...I gotta get to work now. Hope your day is GREAT! :)
*Update, got a call from Lutheran Services, the N.D. adoption agency and the only agency within an hour radious of here and they said that I need to contact someone in Minnesota because N.D cannot help me do to state requirements...I yi yi! I'm starting to think that it was soooo much easier to do this from a foreign country. What's up with American Adoption Programs? There's no wonder why there are so many orphans. There are no agencies that care. Yes I could easily find an international adoption agency and go that route again but I REALLY would like to follow my original heartstring that led me towards a domestic adoption...but the doors are closing before me and I'm not sure what to do
GRRRR, this really gets my maternal lioness in a tiff
I know that I do not really want another baby. Jaiden was actually much younger than we had expected and going through the baby stages has been priceless and I wouldn't give them up for the world, but then again if I had to choose I think I could just as easily love an older child. I know there are many, many children without a family and this just tears me apart. I know I could be the Mommy they dream of, no I am not perfect by a long shot, but my heart is full of love to give to them. I love to watch Jaiden and Jared playing together (more often than not arguing over a toy) on occasion they get along beautifully, like yesterday. We were all home sick. It was a RUFF night I tell ya! J bear has a sore throat, possible tonsil inflamation, and Jaiden has a nasty cough that keeps us all up at night. I woke with a stomach bug that had me dizzy, nauseaus, with a heachache so taking care of my sick babies and getting Teen to school was quite the challenge. All I wanted to do was sleep. So we got home and I crashed on the couch while the kiddos played hot wheel together. They actually played nicely together for hours on end yesterday and let me rest. That does a mommy's heart good in more ways than one. Sometimes Jared gets so lonely and he has not met any friends here yet so I wonder if adopting a younger brother for him would help him. He sits inside and is quickly becoming a couch potato...something I thought would never happen because he is such an active boy. He watches tv way too much in my opinion but I can't send him out alone to play or ride his bike. The street is way too busy and he doesn't like to go to the park alone. It will soon be winter here and he won't be able to get out much. I love to spend time with him and we play games and put puzzles together, but I know he feels all alone. He needs to do "boy things"
anyway, that is my random thoughts for the day...I gotta get to work now. Hope your day is GREAT! :)
*Update, got a call from Lutheran Services, the N.D. adoption agency and the only agency within an hour radious of here and they said that I need to contact someone in Minnesota because N.D cannot help me do to state requirements...I yi yi! I'm starting to think that it was soooo much easier to do this from a foreign country. What's up with American Adoption Programs? There's no wonder why there are so many orphans. There are no agencies that care. Yes I could easily find an international adoption agency and go that route again but I REALLY would like to follow my original heartstring that led me towards a domestic adoption...but the doors are closing before me and I'm not sure what to do
GRRRR, this really gets my maternal lioness in a tiff
4 comments:
Kim,
Wow, that's a lot to digest. I know what you mean about more children. When we first came home with Mya, I didn't think I could handle another one but God made it clear that we were to go back and now we are matched with Noah and just waiting to go.
Check this out:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AdoptingChildrenWithLimbDifferences/
The pictured boy is available. Isn't he just darling?
Have a great day.
Right now I am so busy with Briana that another child seems so impossible! Who knows how I might feel next year though.
Good luck with the domestic adoption process. I have heard it is tough!
Hopefully you things will become clear! I'll keep you in my thoughts!
Wishing you the best in your pursuits!
I can hardly believe it has already been over a year.
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