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Waiting for someone to love them

http://www.mnadopt.org/WaitingChildren.asp

Check out this link. This is the children in Minnesota that are currently available for adoption. When I breezed through it yesterday, Nathan is the one that caught my eye and pulled at my heartstrings, well they all did of course and I wish I could bring them all home with me but little Nathan...I don't know, he looks a bit like Jared. There is only a side glimpse of him in the photo, he seems to be a very busy little guy, much like Jared. I think they could be great pals.

Every time I look at these links my heart just breaks for each and every child that needs a home. The domestic adoption process is not easy, we've been down this road before twice already and didn't get anywhere. I'm finding that adoption here is not going to be a walk in the park either, there is very little information available and there doesn't seem to be many resources to find out anything towards getting started. I've already had the greater Grand Forks door slammed in my face yesterday when the lady said that because we live on the Minnesota side, the North Dakota office cannot help us. The only offices I've found so far in MN is located in Minneaopolis. I'm currently trying to find an agency that will help with getting a homestudy update. Also, not sure how we would finance another adoption right now.

Daycare is currently taking up a huge percentage of our income....thus the reason for not pursuing another baby at this time. I love babies, and if God blesses us with another then I know we will do fine but right now at the precarious place we are at with pre-retirement looming on the nearby horizon, we just can't afford to do the diapers and childcare routine x 2.

I'm really feeling the pull to act now. Its stronger than ever before and I pray that we can work through the hurdles before us to bring our children home.


(Match 64 of 152)
Name:Nathan (3094)
Age:5
Has Siblings:No

Nathan is very cute and likes to stay busy. Typically his a happy little guy. Nathan has severe special needs globally with his development and communication and will require intensive therapy to help him. Nathan enjoys many activities typical of children his age. He likes to ride his bike, play with trains, watch Bob the Builder, and listen to music. Nathan is improving in his social skills but struggles to communicate with spoken language. We are looking for a family that is structured and patient. Nathan really thrives on structure and routine. A family must be willing to make a long-term commitment to supporting Nathan because it is likely he will have long-term struggles.

*Does anyone know what severe special needs globally could mean?

Thinking it over...

I've been thinking it over...maybe it's time to start the paperchase for a brother or sister. Hubs and I have discussed this endlessly, he has known my heart is set on adopting as many children as we possibly can in this lifetime, he is the ever practical one and wants to make sure we are financially sound whatever that means....I can't see putting money before my babies. I still feel in my heart that I have more children, I just haven't met them yet. I know I could easily be a Mommy to a dozen...or more. Convincing the rest of my family of this is the hard part. I've really felt the urge to do something towards making this dream a reality lately. I'd thought that when we got our referral for Jaiden that I would want to get the paperwork going almost right away but as soon as I saw her beautiful face I felt content to wait for the moment. It's been over a year now that she's been home with us, and still I haven't been truly "moved" to do anything yet. Something just seemed to be telling me "it's not time yet"

I know that I do not really want another baby. Jaiden was actually much younger than we had expected and going through the baby stages has been priceless and I wouldn't give them up for the world, but then again if I had to choose I think I could just as easily love an older child. I know there are many, many children without a family and this just tears me apart. I know I could be the Mommy they dream of, no I am not perfect by a long shot, but my heart is full of love to give to them. I love to watch Jaiden and Jared playing together (more often than not arguing over a toy) on occasion they get along beautifully, like yesterday. We were all home sick. It was a RUFF night I tell ya! J bear has a sore throat, possible tonsil inflamation, and Jaiden has a nasty cough that keeps us all up at night. I woke with a stomach bug that had me dizzy, nauseaus, with a heachache so taking care of my sick babies and getting Teen to school was quite the challenge. All I wanted to do was sleep. So we got home and I crashed on the couch while the kiddos played hot wheel together. They actually played nicely together for hours on end yesterday and let me rest. That does a mommy's heart good in more ways than one. Sometimes Jared gets so lonely and he has not met any friends here yet so I wonder if adopting a younger brother for him would help him. He sits inside and is quickly becoming a couch potato...something I thought would never happen because he is such an active boy. He watches tv way too much in my opinion but I can't send him out alone to play or ride his bike. The street is way too busy and he doesn't like to go to the park alone. It will soon be winter here and he won't be able to get out much. I love to spend time with him and we play games and put puzzles together, but I know he feels all alone. He needs to do "boy things"

anyway, that is my random thoughts for the day...I gotta get to work now. Hope your day is GREAT! :)

*Update, got a call from Lutheran Services, the N.D. adoption agency and the only agency within an hour radious of here and they said that I need to contact someone in Minnesota because N.D cannot help me do to state requirements...I yi yi! I'm starting to think that it was soooo much easier to do this from a foreign country. What's up with American Adoption Programs? There's no wonder why there are so many orphans. There are no agencies that care. Yes I could easily find an international adoption agency and go that route again but I REALLY would like to follow my original heartstring that led me towards a domestic adoption...but the doors are closing before me and I'm not sure what to do

GRRRR, this really gets my maternal lioness in a tiff

Ideas for a party?

Ok, it's getting closer and closer to time to prepare for Jaiden's second birthday. It's in December and it falls on a Thursday so I am not sure what to do. I've been thinking My Little Pony tea party but not sure if that would be a little too mature for her just yet.

She is just starting to like dollies. The sweetest moments come when a Mommy watches her daughter hold her "baby" for the first time and the ever so adorable way she cradles her baby in her arms and tucks her gently in with her favorite blankie. Thats when I start to think maybe, just maybe I haven't totally messed up in this job of parenting as it sometimes seems.

What are some good toys out on the market? We haven't purchased many toys since birthday and Christmas came in the same week...and we had two years to stockpile before that. Now its time to upgrade from the baby toys. We would love to get her a Power Wheels car but since it will be too cold to get outside, that isn't exactly practical. So we are looking for ideas for inside play that doesn't take up tooo much room....and something she would actually maybe play with. Any favorite recommendations?

*Update 10/24/07 I ordered Jaiden an "Emo" from Amazon. Not the talking kind, just a cuddly one since she is getting more into dollies now. She loves Jared's piggy that we got at Kohl's and I wish I'd gone back and gotten her one as she is becoming quite attached to it and so is Jared...so he doesn't like to share it very often. Thanks Dusty, I think Elmo is a great birthday idea. Can I steal from you? I think this is something Jaiden would love. Everytime she is on my lap when we "shop" Amazon and come across an Elmo, she starts clapping and bouncing with joy. There are some cute Elmo birthday items on birthdayinabox dot com.

How do you teach a toddler to share?

Jaiden is in her "Mine" phase big time now. She does NOT like sharing with her brother Jared. Anyone else in the family is ok and he shares his toys with her just fine but when he even so much as looks at her toys then she has a squeal fit. Jared is learning to read and we have been having many "read out loud" sessions together. Jaidens idea of "reading" is flipping quickly through the book and then closing it tightly...this makes reading out loud a bit challenging when you have a wiggly toddler on one side and a reader that is getting frustrated with having the pages flipped for him. This makes for a very interesting story hour. How do families with multiples teach their kids to share? I never experienced this with the boys because they were 10 years apart. They've never really been playmates and I've always wished they'd been able to find common things to share together. As a parent I know it is my responsibility to teach them how to socialize but I don't feel I am doing a very good job. When I get home from work we don't do much. Dinner and quiet time to unwind is the standard norm. We don't get out often and there's not a lot of interaction going on amost our neighbors...sure we wave, say hello and maybe even chat on occasion but it really never gets any further than that. I really miss the come on in, have a seat and lets chat kinda times. Today's society is a go go at the break neck speed of life and yet it seems we really aren't getting anywhere. When did we forget to stop and play? How can we teach our children to be children? Maybe its not for us to teach but to take the time to be still and learn.

Cute phrase of the day "Where's Elmo" She points to her elbow "MoMo" When she see's Elmo she gets really excited, squeals and claps and says "Emo!"

A day of pinkness

Today Jaiden and I are hangin out at home because sweetie has pink eye. Her eye was a tiny bit green gunky when she woke yesterday morning but not too bad. I wiped it off with a warm cloth and watched her closely for the next hour...no green returned and the eye was not red so I sent her off to daycare. Around mid-morning I had a call from daycare saying that she indeed had pinkeye. This has happened before and turned out to be she put her finger in her eye so I was a bit skeptical of their prognosis. Both hubs and I were over our heads with work at work but he canceled his shooting and took her to the doctor whom gave her some drops for her eyes.

So we are spending the day together and Jaiden is such a little character! She is gabbing up a storm now. Still not sure what she is saying but she sure does have a lot to say! She loves books...she just brought me "Farley Mowat The boat who wouldn't float" but she tires of it after about the first sentence. Her favorite story today is "Inside, Outside, Upside Down"by Stan and Jan Berenstain...and her favorite word is "NO" for everything...even the things she really wants......like to sing and dance,which she is happily doing on my lap right now.

I've missplaced my camera battery charger so I am temporarily without photo material. So I leave you with Jaiden's latest words and antics...Up, No (Giggle) No," Clap, Clap Shake, Shake, Dance in circle, adjust sleeves, clap some more. "I wallly up" and HUh? (her newest most favorite word) Its really cute, I wish I had my camera!

Such a sweetie!

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Jaiden is such a crack up! This photo was taken on the night before Gotcha Day. We had just pulled out the "Gotcha Day clothing" and she was having a blast with it...mostly tossing all the layers on the floor and pouncing on them. But she loves the Minnie Mouse pjs. They are a perfect fit now so she will be wearing them often. We will put the extra layers away in her keepsake box for sharing memories down the road.

The Red Thread to Jaiden

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Share Photos - Free Video Hosting This is "the simple art" that took me ages to finish. I dedicated it to Jaiden around the time of her one year anniversary and it now hangs on the wall in her room. I don't think it turned out all that great but there was a lot of love put into it so it's the thought that counts in this one. Maybe I'll get better and do a really nice piece someday. I'd love to take an art class...but I don't know where I'd find the time. For now it will be ala naturale, no frills just me :)

Our beautiful girls

Hi all! I know its been a while and I really do miss you all and appreciate the sweet comments. Its been crazy busy around here and I haven't had much time to write or keep up with blogging. I hope you all are doing well. I hope I'll be back again soon but till then I still love hearing from you so keep the comments coming!