Belated Wishes

I have forgotten something. Something sacred. I am ashamed. I must repent that I have gotten off focus lately and things (me) have not been quite as normal as usual. I am normally very thoughtful and kind. I've been slacking. I normally love to write. That too has lost interest for me. I know I have issues and I'm going to get seen by a professional soon (June 11th) but until then I am trying to muddle through.

My life is so full of blessings that I cannot fathom why I am not bursting with joy every minute of my day. I dug back through some of my past posts and came across this mothers day wish from last year. http://kleinsingermany.blogspot.com/2006/05/tribute-to-special-mother.html

I need to dig deep and come up with something appropriate. This child is more than I could have ever dreamed of. Her beauty comes from within and outshines the sun. Mother's Day is a special day to reflect on all the special women in our lives. Without them where would we be?

This comes on the heels of an argument with my mom on the phone just this morning. She wants me to visit her and is trying to get me to let the kids come stay with her this summer but with gas prices the way they are, it is just too costly to drive that far twice in one summer. My brother is getting married on July 4th and I would like to attend (he lives in the same town). I don't want the kids to stay with her for a month, they are still getting settled here and have not made friends yet - going away is not going to help that. I am being selfish in that I would like my mom to come visit me. She is retired but has a farm, garden etc that takes up all her time. I feel like sometimes I am on the bottom of her priority list.

I hope I do not ever make my children feel second place to any "thing" that may be a part of my life. I love them with all my heart and they are the air that I breathe. I cannot imagine my life without them. Bearing the title of Mommy is the greatest gift life has given to me. I wish that every mother's heart could overflow with the joy of life that children bring.

My wish this year is that every mother that has ever longed for a child will be filled with joy and laughter, a life abundant and overflowing, hope eternal and love everlasting. If your arms are empty, may there be peace in your heart that provides you with fullfillment, knowing that at just the right moment your arms will overflow and your life will be blessed.

For Jaiden's biological mother,

I will never know her address, to send her photos or cards, but somewhere in the small village of Tonggu, deep in the heart of China there is a mother with empty arms. She placed her daughter at the orphanage gate on a cold December day and somehow managed to walk away. I know her heart must have shattered into pieces and I cry to think of the anguish she went through. I wish her to know somehow in her heart the joy that her life has brought to me. She has given such a precious piece of herself to me and I will always treasure her. I wish I had a name to call her, a face to visualize when I pray for her. That's all I know to give in return for what she has given me. Beloved one. May each task be made lighter, each dawn a little brighter and each day a new reminder that she has given the most precious of gift a life. A chance to grow and become all that she was meant to be. This most precious child will always know love, always know comfort and always be a joy to behold. We will watch her grow and know that she is a part of someone we may never meet but will always treasure. May God bless her beyond measure and give her peace and wisdom that her child is growing in His Grace.